JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
