nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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