i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
