Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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