We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
