omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you win again, gameday.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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