There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
