Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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