its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
