see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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