We're like a lot better than the average bears
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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