Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
