is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
