belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
