pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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