We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize