And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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