my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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