There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
