I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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