"it" just moved
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize