Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
