My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
