I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
