i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
