dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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