It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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