I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I still have a little drunk in my system
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
