Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
