cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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