dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
