I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
