Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
