question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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