I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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