i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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