Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
