One girl and one boy is just not enough.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
