did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize