Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
