They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize