we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
