yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The struggles of a small town man whore
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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