curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
