Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I smell like Dick and happiness
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
