When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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