Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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