I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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