yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
