i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
