if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
