We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
