I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
zippers are such a cool invention
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
