can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
