Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
