you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
