nut hugger
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
