"it" just moved
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
