Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
did i just pee glitter
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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